Where's my car?

Great news recently released by USF. Proteins released by people with rheumatoid arthritis dramatically reduce Alzheimer’s pathology, and when administrated to mice, actually reversed memory impairment. Researchers found that this protein (GM-CSF) stimulates the body’s natural scavenger cells to attack, and even remove, Alzheimer’s deposits in the brain.


Mathematically it also means those of us with aching hips will likely never suffer from the debilitating effects of Alzheimer’s. And now I have no medical excuse for the fact that I can never find my car at the mall. It’s totally genetic. And I don’t take after anyone strange.

My mother once called the police because her car was stolen. While they were filling out the report, the car was “recovered” from behind our bank building, where in fact, she had parked it. Once I found her keys in the freezer. Then there was the time she drove home from the local pool with my little brother on the car roof. He managed to hold on to the luggage rack for 5 miles.

If you have never suffered the humiliation of riding around for two hours (every side of Dillard’s) in the parking lot security cart, clicking the panic button on your key alarm, praying that something happens – you really haven’t lived. Especially if it’s over 100 degrees outside and there’s a pungent Chinese restaurant dumpster on the route. Over and over….

Embrace GPS tracking technology! DashTrac is so accurate. If I lose my car, I can call ANYONE to find it for me online. Sorry, Mall Cop. Our relationship is over.

MORE Proof that teenagers are amazing!

Imagine having a person you don’t trust in charge of the thing you love most. That’s my definition of parenting a teenager.


The president of our company has a DashTrac on his son’s car. The child KNOWS it’s on his car and he STILL does stupid things! Kids amaze me.

One evening last week he told his parents he had a meeting at work, so he needed to go to the mall (where he works) for this very important, mandatory employee meeting. He assured his parents it would probably last an hour, which meant he was scheduled to be home at about 9:30pm.

This kills me. At 9:30 he calls his sister’s cell. “Tell Mom and Dad my meeting is gonna run late. There’s nothing I can do about it.” OK folks, let me repeat that he KNOWS the DashTrac GPS tracking device is on his car.

Then he commenced to leave the mall, in his car, with the tracking device – and head to the local bar district. All the while his Dad was watching the entire maneuver via home computer.

Nobody is immune. Everyone with a teenager lives with a terrorist version of someone that they love very much.

Rudy On The Move

I hate to sound like some old drunk at the end of the bar, but when I went to college I didn’t have a car. I didn’t have an American Express card and I didn’t have parents paying tuition. Know what I had? I had a scholarship, snow boots and a clue.

Dammit Rudy ran out of travel budget. Translated that means he spent his card to the limit and now it won’t work. I’m pretty certain he’s out of gas somewhere between Maryland and Alabama, but can’t really bet on it, because I don’t know exactly where he is. Once again, I will rely on the kindness of strangers and the grace of God to get the world’s most clueless human back to college.

Rudy Strikes Again

Who drives 600 miles to an unknown destination, breaks into a house that might be his sister’s (based on a photo of someone that looks like her roommate and a Dark Crystal video) and falls asleep on the couch? Dammit Rudy.

“I didn’t really break in. The window was easy to force open.” Not exactly what I wanted to hear. Either my daughter lives in constant danger of some maniac breaking into her house or my son is sleeping on some nice people’s couch. Either situation is cause for concern.

Are You Kidding Me?

Dammit Rudy. Now he's in Maryland.

No cell phone (can't find the charger) and armed with a GPS for Dummies. He spontaneously drove from Alabama to visit his big sister before college starts.

Apparently the fact that he didn't have her address or phone number was no deterrent to the sheer joy of taking a trip.

Are You a Driving Role Model For Your Teen?

Are you teaching your teenager bad driving habits? I complain about my son all of the time, but this morning it hit me. I have contributed to the driving mess he is.

A recent survey sponsored by AAA and Seventeen magazine revealed that 86% of teens admit to driving while distracted. What amazed me were the distractions. Music, food and cell phones. Adults are no less guilty of the same, and I fear we have sent the wrong message to these kids from the very start. We are a generation of muli-taskers, and driving isn't a sacred single-task event.

Do You Wonder?

My son, Dammit Rudy, got a $560 speeding ticket last week. This was about a week after the $260 ticket for crossing center line (texting) and about a month after the$180 ticket he got exceeding the speed limit. Dammit Rudy is not my favorite child right now.

Apparently there is a difference between "speeding" and "exceeding the speed limit." Who knew?